F or people of all ages -- and we mean all, including an 80-year-old woman of our acquaintance -- the Internet is the best matchmaker ever. This rapidly expanding way to meet a date or mate is easy, inexpensive and respectable as well as fun. It saves time, too.

On-line dating is perfect for people who don't have time for parties, avoid the bar scene, are new in town or have exhausted (or resist) the matchmaking efforts of friends.

Whether or not an Internet hookup leads to a long-term relationship, on-line dating can uncover interesting people you would otherwise never have met.

Many of our clients who have found love on-line are 50 and older. One friend, age 53, began on-line dating a year and a half ago. In the first year, she received 600 responses, went on dates with 25 men -- and is now engaged to one of them.

GETTING STARTED

You can "shop" for likely prospects day or night, in the privacy of your home.

First, you'll need access to a computer with an Internet connection and a basic understanding of how to use it. If you're computer literate, you're on your way. If not, a friend, relative, teenaged neighbor or librarian can teach you quickly.

Browse one or more of the many on-line dating services, such as those listed in this article. You can read personal ads posted by other people for free. To winnow them down, specify your sex and location... the sex, location and age range of those you wish to meet... and other options. You can change your requirements at any time.

Costs: Most services charge about $25 per month, typically with lower monthly rates for a commitment of several months or longer. Free one-week trial memberships are often offered.

On-line dating costs far less than signing on with a video dating service (typically $2,500 to $5,000) or a personal matchmaker, who may charge $1,000 and up.

POSTING AN AD

To put yourself in the running, create an on-line nickname, perhaps one that includes your age.

Examples: Raving-Beauty65 ... BachFan53.

Caution: Unless you're looking for a strictly sexual encounter, avoid a screen name with sexual overtones (such as HotLady). For security reasons, never use your real name or town.

Our rule: Always submit a photo -- a recent, smiling, flattering but true-to-you head shot. People have been known to appear for a first-meeting date after meeting on-line... realize the person does not resemble his/her photo... and leave immediately. Don't let this happen to you.

The photo you submit can be taken with a digital camera or scanned with a photo scanner... or mailed to the service for posting.

When writing the text of your ad, be light, casual and breezy. Know in your heart that anyone would be lucky to read your ad and even luckier to have your E-mail address. Be careful not to sound desperate.

SCREENING

Women should never respond to a man's ad -- men prefer to be the initiators. When a man responds to your ad, ask for a photo if none has been posted. If a few rounds of E-mail suggest a likely prospect, ask for his home and work phone numbers, and call him when he is not there to make sure his voice mail recordings say he is who he says he is.

Safety rules: If you have any doubts whatsoever about the credibility of the person you are E-mailing -- if he refuses to give you his work and home numbers... if he won't say what he does (or did) for a living but insists on knowing where you live or work -- end the conversation.

As you read the ads of men who contact you, follow your instincts to screen likely prospects in and unlikely ones out. You aren't obligated to respond to anyone at all.

If a man takes more than four E-mails before asking you out, he either has a girlfriend or wife or is just fooling around. Don't waste your time -- hit "delete" and move on.

Playing hard to get may be an old dating rule, but it works. Long or intense responses sent too quickly or too often scare guys away.

Another no-no: Describing your ailments. Swapping doctor stories is no way to spark romance.

MEETING IN PERSON

We call the first date after E-mail and phone encounters "date zero." Until you have met someone in person, no real connection has been made, regardless of how much has been said or typed. Relax... enjoy... don't interrogate.

Meet in a public place. Do not share your home or work address or phone number. Don't get into his car or discuss your financial situation. Use your personal radar to determine when someone may try to take advantage of your trusting nature.

Example: A woman over age 60 who called us for a consultation told us that a man she had recently met on-line asked to borrow $1,000!

We'd like to think that women over 50 are too smart to jump into bed on the first (or second or third) date, but to be on the safe side, we'll warn you: Don't! Relationships today need as much "in-person" time as they ever did to mature into real intimacy.

YOU NEVER KNOW

The goal of dating, on-line or otherwise, is to forge a relationship based on mutual attraction, interest and respect.

Success story: Widowed after 43 years of marriage to a man she had met at age nine, Isabel began browsing for dates on-line "as a lark" and took advantage of an offer to post her own ad free for a week. After dating a few men, she met a soul mate who was divorced... and married him a year later.

Click now! Maybe you, too, will click with a special someone.

A Selection of On-line Dating Services

www.americansingles.com

www.epersonals.com

www.kiss.com

www.match.com

www.matchmaker.com

www.udate.com (for singles age 25 and over)

www.jdate.com (for Jewish singles)

www.christiansingles.com (for Christian singles)

www.manline.com (men seeking men)

www.womanline.com (women seeking women)

Directories of on-line dating services...

www.all-dating-online.com

www.lovesites.com

www.singlesites.com