O ur fondest memories are often of the family trips we took when we were kids. While we want to create the same happy memories for our own children, there are a variety of grown-up issues to consider, too.

What is the best way to plan a vacation so the entire family, parents and children alike, can experience fun, togetherness, relaxation and lasting positive impressions?

Here are some of my favorite suggestions from parents who attend my workshops:

Prepare, prepare, prepare. The most important way to have a successful family trip involves what you do before you leave. Planning ahead is key, and that includes letting your kids know what to expect.

Minimize the possibility of unpleasant surprises by finding out as much as you can about your destination, including the weather patterns, activities that are available for kids of all ages, the most convenient places to eat and whether the resort or hotel is truly a family-friendly setting.

Also investigate alternative activities, in case you can't get into a popular attraction, and facilities for rainy days (an indoor heated pool can save the day). You might want to involve your older children in researching the destination so that they have an investment in the success of the trip.

Be aware that it's the little things that can make a big difference when you're on the road. Pack a separate bag with travel supplies, including snacks and special foods if you have a fussy eater.

You may also want to bring disposable dishes, napkins and paper towels, plastic garbage bags and premoistened towelettes, especially if you are traveling by car.

Don't forget to bring extra batteries, small games, puzzles, favorite toys, books, music tapes, cameras and a first-aid kit.

Choose a destination that is fun for everyone. If you have children of different ages with different interests, it may seem impossible to accommodate their diverse needs. But many resorts and hotels are in tune with families. Some are ideal for kids of all ages and interests and can provide something for everybody. Club Med is a good example.

Preplanned and supervised adventures just for children provide a break for weary parents while allowing children to make new friends and learn new skills.

Even if you're not vacationing in a setting that is totally dedicated to families, plan ahead to make the most kid-friendly choices. Before you make reservations at a hotel or a resort, check with the manager to be sure that children are welcome and not simply tolerated.

Clues: Whether or not the on-site restaurants serve children's portions or any group activities are child-oriented.

Don't force your agenda. When my kids were young, we took a family trip to the Caribbean. I can still remember my frustration the day we arrived and I found that my sons preferred to stay in their hotel room playing cards rather than swimming and enjoying the beautiful setting outside.

Initially, I was upset that they weren't taking advantage of the facilities. I was likewise distressed another year when they had a lukewarm reaction to the stimulating cultural opportunities of Washington, DC.

I realized that they were less interested in the history and culture than they were in where we would eat. And their favorite memory was the day we flew kites on the Great Lawn, not our visit to the White House. In time, I learned that my preconceived notions of what constituted a fun vacation needed to be revised.

Don't forget that this is your children's vacation, too. The goal is to give them a break from the familiar, predictable routines and provide opportunities for them to have fun, even if their idea of fun is not the same as yours.

Don't feel that just because you're in a place that has a lot of recommended sightseeing, you have to do it all or even most of it.

Keep in mind what turns on kids. Lovely scenery, famous monuments or museums where they can look but not touch are not usually high on their lists.

And don't feel you have to be actively engaged every minute. Vacations provide a perfect setting for kids (as well as adults) to get some much needed downtime.

Be flexible. Parents I know who have the best times on vacations are a little less earnest and by-the-book. Kids love it when you can be spontaneous or allow them to do things they don't ordinarily get to do.

Family vacations are times to lighten up, whether that involves food choices, bedtimes, baths or other routines. My sons still talk about the time we went to a midnight movie on one of our vacations and then everyone slept late the next morning.

Forget the agenda for one day, and just see where your imagination takes you. One of our family's favorite memories comes from a totally unplanned afternoon in St. Thomas when we sat around the pool all day instead of going on an excursion.

Create memories for a lifetime. Throughout your vacation, think of ways to take the experience home with you or record the events that you expect to be the most memorable.

You might want to keep a daily log that you fill out each evening and encourage everyone to add stories from the day. Or you can bring a tape recorder to record songs and stories from the trip.

Give your older children disposable cameras so they can take the pictures they want.

You might want to choose pictures together to create a scrapbook. That way you can capture the memories of your good times together and continue to enjoy them for many years.