I t is resolution time. If you really want to change your life, do it incrementally. You increase your chances of success when you commit to completing one small task at a time -- such as cleaning a shelf in your closet -- instead of trying to organize your entire life in one weekend. Each achievement builds momentum, leading to more successes.

Here is my six-week plan to improve your life...

WEEK 1: TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR TIME

Before you can make headway on long-term goals, you must address immediate priorities.

Example: You dream of starting a business but are overextended financially. You need to straighten out your financial situation before pursuing this long-term goal.

Most of us let circumstances dictate how we spend our time. Regain control of your time by paying attention to what you say yes and no to.

This week: Create a list of your top priorities for the next three months.

Ask yourself, What needs my attention now? What do I need to let go of?

Think about all areas of your life -- family, friends, work, finances, community, and emotional and physical health. It could be anything from mending a neglected relationship to updating your résumé.

Choose the top five answers from your list, and prioritize them. This is your Absolute Yes list. Copy this list onto several index cards. Place these cards where you will see them often -- on the bathroom mirror, next to the phone, on the car dashboard, etc. They will remind you to say no to things that are not on the list.

WEEK 2: ELIMINATE ENERGY DRAINS

Tasks left undone create a distracting buzz in the back of your mind, taking up precious mental energy.

This week: List 10 things that are draining your energy.

Examples: Making a phone call you've been putting off... washing your car... reviewing a report for work.

Schedule two hours this week to take care of as many of these energy robbers as possible.

If your list contains more than 10 items, focus on the top 10. Put the rest out of your mind. When you've taken care of the top 10, tackle the next 10. Keep scheduling two hours a week to cross these tasks off your list.

WEEK 3: FOCUS

Any worthwhile goal calls for concentration and discipline. Yet we seem to have lost the skill of focusing on one thing at a time. We spend our days bouncing from one distraction to the next. Sometimes focusing means forgoing opportunities that seem important... or saying no to things we would really like to do -- for the sake of something we want more.

This week: Choose one project to which you will devote your concentration and energy. Schedule at least 30 minutes every day to work on it -- uninterrupted -- until it is completed.

At first, your mind may pull you away from your goal. Keep refocusing. This exercise isn't just about finishing your project. It's about training yourself to stay focused.

WEEK 4: DROP ONE BALL

Are you overwhelmed? The only way to recover your balance is to drop a few of the balls you're juggling. The best ones to drop are the unreasonable expectations you put on yourself.

This week: Choose one of these three expectations to challenge...

Pleasing everyone.

Doing everything yourself.

Doing everything perfectly.

Think about the ways the expectation you select plays out in your life. Commit to handling the situation differently at least once a day.

If you're a people pleaser: Say, I'll get back to you on that whenever someone makes a request -- instead of automatically saying yes.

If you do everything: Ask for help at least once a day in order to develop the new habit of accepting support.

If you're a perfectionist: Stop working on a project as soon as it is "good enough," instead of reworking it until it is perfect.

WEEK 5: CLEAR THE CLUTTER

We hold onto piles of paper because we're afraid we might need them someday. But when we need the information, we often can't find it anyway. And clutter distracts us from more important concerns. There is no need to be surrounded by paper.

This week: Schedule 30 minutes each day to go through an area of clutter, such as a corner of your desk, a stack of unread newspapers or an overflowing file drawer.

Throw away more than feels comfortable. This trains you to be selective about the information that comes into your life, so clutter is less likely to accumulate in the future.

WEEK 6: PAMPER YOURSELF

Most of us drive ourselves hard, with the promise that we will reward ourselves once we have finished everything we need to do. But because there's always something more to do, we are likely to keep depriving ourselves.

Ironically, self-care is most important when you are busiest. If you keep pushing without a break, you'll wind up sick -- a forced "break" you can't enjoy.

Life is too short to put off being good to yourself.

This week: List 10 simple self-indulgences that you would love to do if only you had the time. Include some that make you feel a little guilty.

Examples: Getting a massage... going to a movie in the middle of the day... staying overnight at a bed-and-breakfast... taking a walk in the park during your lunch hour.

Do one of them this week. Then do one every week until pampering yourself becomes a regular part of your life.