D on't take grandparenting for granted. It requires practice and patience. Here are some helpful ideas...

Have a plan. Consciously plan the role you want to play in your grandchildren's lives. Discuss your thoughts about being a grandparent with your children, and learn their views. Discuss expectations openly, and you will pave the way for smoother relationships.

When problems arise, talk about them. Work with your children to find a creative solution.

Keep in touch. Whether you're down the block or across the country, maintain regular contact with your grandchildren. It's the foundation of your relationship.

There's no substitute for time spent together. If you live nearby, plan a weekly dinner or outing. If you live far away, visit at least once a year.

Being alone with your grandchildren helps you get to know them better. It can be an afternoon's outing to the park, a parent's night out while you baby-sit or a few days' stay in your home.

Spend time in the kitchen. The kitchen is the place where we're most relaxed, and it is a great place to build relationships with grandchildren.

Prepare a meal together. The conversations will follow for some precious memories.

Make them feel welcome. Personal touches like cups with their names or a drawer filled with crayons and toys tell your grandchildren how important they are to you, and how welcome they are in your home.

Use the phone, mail and E-mail. Children love speaking on the phone and receiving letters. A weekly phone call from a long-distance grandparent gives them something to look forward to. For an older child, an unexpected call can be a reassuring reminder you are there for him/her.

A simple postcard will thrill the young, while a thoughtful letter will be cherished by an older grandchild.

Read aloud to them. Grandparents can make an important contribution to their grandchildren's development by taking the time to read aloud to them, especially when they are very young. Cuddle up in a comfortable chair, and explore the world of the imagination.

Give lots of hugs. No matter how old we are, we can all use a hug. A hug is a welcome reminder of how much your grandchild means to you, at any age.

Remember who's in charge. Accept your children's decisions as parents with a smile and grace, whether you agree or not. Learning to parent is about learning from mistakes. Be there for your children if they need your insights, but only when asked.

You're entitled to opinions about how your grandchildren are raised, but don't meddle and manipulate the relationship. When you have suggestions or disagreements, voice them in a nonjudgmental, supportive way.

When in doubt, listen. Listening is the most important way grandparents and parents can build a better relationship.

As a grandparent, take the lead in demonstrating how effective listening skills help deal with disagreements and differences. When a problem arises, listen to what everyone has to say.

Think before you speak. Don't rush in with advice, comments or solutions -- even when they seem obvious. Look beyond words and emotions for the root of problems. Then draw on your experience -- and the strength of the family -- to offer practical advice from your unique perspective.

Share your family history. Telling your grandchildren about your family and its history gives them a sense of who they are. When you share family stories, you're ensuring they'll be handed down.

Whenever possible, share photographs to back up your stories. It's nice to hear about a great-great-grandmother, but even nicer to see a picture of you standing with her, at your grandchild's age.

Give photos of yourself to your grandchildren, especially if you are a long-distance grandparent. Take plenty of pictures when together, and make copies of cherished family photos for older grandchildren to strengthen the family connection.

Tell them about your life. As your grandchildren grow, weave memories of your life and experiences into your relationship. A six-year-old just learning to ride would welcome hearing about your first bike. A teenager will enjoy stories of your first love.

Start a shared collection. Start your grandchild with a gift to begin a collection, and add to it over time. It can be anything -- coins, baseball cards or souvenirs from places you visit. What's important is that it's something special you share and build together.

Give a keepsake. Establish a connection between your grandchildren and your past by letting them know that one day a piece of furniture or an heirloom will be theirs. Tell them or write down the reason it is important to you, and its history.

Draw support from your friends. When your grandchildren visit for a few days, arrange a get-together with your friends and their grandchildren. This gives you a bit of a break, introduces your grandchildren to your social circle and helps forge a stronger bond between you and your grandchildren.

Learn from your grandparents. What do you remember about your grandmother or grandfather? How did they make you feel like such a special person? There's much they can teach you now about what it means, and takes, to be a better grandparent.