W hether your children go to college right after high school or take a few years off to work or explore the world, they'll face a steep learning curve. They will be making many decisions for the first time -- and living with the mistakes.

Schools rarely teach the life skills -- using credit cards responsibly... making friends in new places... reading the fine print on contracts, etc. -- that kids need to become responsible adults.

Before your children pack their bags and walk out the door, here are important things they should know...

FINANCIAL LESSONS

Pay off credit cards monthly -- no matter what. Once kids turn 18, every bank will be sending them credit card offers. They could be deep in debt in just a few months if they're not careful.

Trap: Young people often look at the low minimum payments on credit card bills and think they're getting a bargain. They don't realize how much things really cost when they're paying an annual percentage rate of 18%.

Set no-exception budgets. Kids have to learn to live within their means -- even if that means doing without "necessities" they used to take for granted. Remind your children to factor in everything -- rent... utilities... clothes... meals... popcorn and soda at the movies, etc.

Temptation will certainly beckon. Children need to learn that giving in to temptation now will mean giving up something important later.

Follow the $100 rule. Encourage your children to consult you before buying anything that costs more than $100. Remind them that the terms for credit purchases are deliberately made to look attractive. The hard truth is often buried in the fine print.

Example: You can get a cell phone for almost nothing -- but only if you sign a service contract that costs hundreds of dollars a year.

PERSONAL LESSONS

Stay socially active. Drama clubs... photography workshops... ceramic classes, etc. are great places to meet people in no-pressure settings. When moving to a new area, classes and hobbies make it possible to have a busy social life outside of smoky (and expensive) bars. Remind kids to read campus or community newspapers. These usually list inexpensive or free extracurricular activities.

Maintain personal boundaries. Peer pressure doesn't lessen when children leave home -- especially when they're living in dorm rooms or sharing apartments with friends.

Remind kids that they don't have to do anything that makes them uncomfortable -- drinking... smoking... staying out all night... spending foolishly, etc.

Example: Suppose your daughter has a roommate who drinks in the dorm -- against school rules. Rather than risk embarrassment by taking a personal stand, she can simply say, "My parents won't pay my bills here if I get caught with alcohol." She'll get the message across while putting the blame on you.

Find a mentor. In high school, talking to teachers is often seen as apple-polishing. In college, it's a shortcut to success. In the working world, it's a key to opportunities. When you ask successful people how they got ahead, they invariably give credit to early mentors.

Be prepared for emotional dips. Children who leave home for the first time often have a rough transition period. They may gain weight... avoid going out... have trouble sleeping, etc.

Helpful: I tell my students that if someone were videotaping them over the years, they would be amazed at their developing skills and emotional and intellectual growth. It can boost their confidence to understand that how they feel now is temporary. Talking with a psychologist can also be helpful.

Learn how to cook the basics. Teenagers don't believe it, but there will come a time when a handful of potato chips and a soda won't seem like a nutritious meal. Everyone should know a few kitchen basics before leaving home -- how to roast a chicken... cook spaghetti and a simple sauce... combine greens for a quick salad.

Remind them -- we're here when you need us. Many parents back off when children leave home because they don't want to interfere. This approach can leave kids feeling isolated.

Important: It is also your children's responsibility to stay in touch with you. I advise making this a condition of receiving rent checks or other perks. A weekly phone call might be enough... although it's also important for them to come home several times a year.