A sk people what they want most out life, and nearly everyone will say that they just want to be happy.

Health, wealth, love and friends are prized because they typically bring us happiness.

Yet happiness is a mysterious goal. For many it remains elusive despite material comfort and good fortune, while others lead modest, even difficult, lives and still face every day with a smile.

THE AGE-HAPPINESS CONNECTION

Psychologists who study the subject define happiness as the balance we achieve between our positive and negative emotions.

Feelings such as cheerfulness, joy, contentment and satisfaction add to our happiness. Anxiety, guilt, hopelessness and anger take away from it.

Repeated studies show that there is little correlation between one's wealth and level of education... and happiness.

One factor that does make a difference, however, is age. The stereotype of the gloomy, cantankerous elder person, who is oppressed by growing aches and pains, bodily weakness and failing memory, seems to be absolutely wrong.

Our recent survey of 2,727 men and women, ages 25 to 74, reached the opposite conclusion -- the older the people in our study, the higher the levels of well-being they reported. Being older in most cases meant being happier.

Reason: The "generation" effect. People in their 70s today lived through the Great Depression and World War II. They appreciate the peace and prosperity that younger people take for granted.

But their happiness also is quite likely due to the large amount of change they've experienced over their lifetimes. Only when you experience enough change can you put yourself and the world in greater perspective.

MAKING HAPPIER CHOICES

Two tools for happiness that strengthen with age are emotional regulation and perspective.

Our research found that older people managed their emotions better than younger -- and even middle-aged -- adults. Older people appeared able to maximize positive feelings and minimize negative ones.

Older people have learned, through years of experience, exactly which situations, people and surroundings make them feel good -- and which make them feel bad.

They actively take steps to bring more of the beneficial experiences into their lives and minimize the ones that wear down their spirits.

They say things like, "I've reached the point in life where I don't waste time with nasty people" and "I'm going to do what's right for me, whatever other people think."

Lesson: Be attentive to how your moods brighten and darken. Become aware of what external circumstances and which people shift your feelings of well-being for better or worse.

Avoid situations that bring you down and people who leave you frustrated and angry. Seek out those who make you feel good -- about yourself and your life.

PUT PROBLEMS IN PERSPECTIVE

Older people often deal better with life's unforeseen challenges because they have broader, wiser perspectives.

Having experienced good times and bad, they know that today's difficulties are sure to pass. Annoyances like traffic jams will be over before they know it. Even what may seem serious, like a drop in the stock market, isn't the end of the world.

Negative feelings are more likely to disappear faster and less likely to bother them deeply.

Lesson: Put daily annoyances, setbacks and disappointments in perspective. Ask yourself whether the problem you're experiencing will matter a year from now... next week... in an hour.

RELATIONSHIPS COUNT

As other psychologists have reported before us, our research also found married people are happier than those who are not married.

Older married men appear to be the happiest of all, perhaps because they have learned to minimize negative emotions and accentuate the positive in their marriages.

Lesson: Take care of your marriage and other important relationships. Make the time necessary to keep them intact and improve them.

OTHER KEYS TO HAPPINESS

Find joy in life's small pleasures. We tend to think that our happiness hinges on big wins, such as a promotion or a new car... and limiting big losses, such as the roof falling in.

But their effect on mood almost always wears off in a few months.

More reliable formula for happiness: Develop the ability to find satisfaction in the little things that come your way each and every day. Consider moments when you pause to enjoy the sunset or breathe deeply as happy, joyful experiences. Practice accepting and savoring every pleasant situation.

Boost your outlook. It's hardly surprising that people with rosy outlooks -- people who expect things to turn out well -- report themselves happier and less prone to psychological distress.

While each of us is born with a tendency toward optimism -- or pessimism -- you can teach yourself to shift your attitude so that it is in a sunnier range.

Helpful: Take active steps to protect yourself against negative people and situations that cause you extreme stress.

When taking on new challenges, consciously remind yourself to deal with them in ways that allow you to relax and be happy. Only then can you give tasks your best effort.

Example: Leave yourself enough time to deal with problems comfortably, and find ways to feel good about your efforts.

Every time you turn a "hopeless" situation around, you build your capacity for optimism.