T oo many parents say they have too much to do and too little time in which to do it all. Most time crunches are self-created. You alone have the power to lighten up and spend more time with your kids. Parents in my workshop tell me that it is well worth the effort.

Here are the strategies that parents I know have adopted to make more time for parenting:

DECIDE WHAT’S IMPORTANT

People are always saying to me, “I have to get better organized,” as if that were the solution to finding more time to spend with their children.

Time management is certainly helpful, but it involves much more than rearranging the items on your “to do” list. Maybe your list is just too long.

Remember that “busyness” is not in itself a virtue. You may find ways to spend time and save time, but for what?

The key to time management is to rediscover what matters most and relinquish some of the “shoulds” that may be cluttering up your days.

Helpful: Try making a list of everything you do in the course of a day. Then take your list and divide it into three categories: Musts, shoulds and pleasures.

After you review the categories, try to think of ways you can organize the musts, cut down on the shoulds and increase the pleasures that relate to your children.

PRACTICE FAMILY SHARING

The best way to make your children feel important and included in your life is to involve them in the activity of being a family. Kids often feel proud and important when they are allowed to be useful.

Examples: If you’re preparing dinner, let your child set the table. When you’re doing the laundry, ask him to separate the light clothes from the dark ones. When gardening, show her how to plant seeds or use a rake.

These tasks may take a little longer, but the time will be well spent in building a bond between you and your child.

LIMIT THE WORK YOU DO AT HOME

I realize it’s not always possible, but try to separate your work life from your home life.

Work activity is often discouraging for kids, who wait eagerly for mom or dad to arrive home only to have them both disappear from view to continue working through the evening.

Helpful: Work on office projects in the living room while your child practices the piano. Or wait until your kids go to bed to do your work.

CREATE TIME FOR KIDS

Children cherish special time alone with a parent. These memories are happy ones because they recall times when a parent was totally in the moment and solely focused on being with the child, one on one.

Helpful: When you’re really squeezed for time, try to find ways to carve out small moments with your kids.

Examples: A mother in my workshop makes it a point to take a 20-minute walk with her seven-year-old daughter every evening after dinner, weather permitting. Another parent has a 10-minute evening ritual that begins with her saying to her five-year-old, “Tell me four things that were funny today.” An artist I know spends a half-hour every night drawing with his son. Together, they choose their favorites to put up on the door.

It’s easy to tell children, “I love you,” but it’s the actual time that we spend focused on them alone that makes them feel important and worthwhile.